THE COMMUNITY

There has been much curiosity around the community in which I live. Years ago, we called them “communes,” and in today’s world, we call them “communities.” It is living as I have never believed I could.

Basically, in our six-bedroom, three-bathroom house (2 full baths), we have 9 adults and 1 child (soon to be 2) living. There are two couples sharing rooms and then everyone else has their own personal room (one adult shares with her child).

The house runs systematically. Each person is assigned weekly chores (rooms to clean, grocery shopping, bread baking, etc.).  Everyone has assigned cooking nights (mine is Thursday) and everyone is asked to attend at least 3 community dinners per week. We fix our own breakfast and lunch (using anything in the kitchen that is not marked reserved for a meal). We are asked to not buy personal food items to keep in the kitchen as the goal is to have all items available to anyone who wants them. We are encouraged to invite friends over for meals if we would like with the exception of Monday nights. Monday nights are “housemate night” when we have a meeting covering logistics that need to be brought up. We also use Monday night to be accountable for the chores we have done throughout the week and catch everyone up on what is happening in each of our lives. On the last Monday of each month, we have “game night” where we play a group game.  There are reasonable quiet hours, but, the house is old (built in 1911), so if there are people present, it speaks constantly through it’s consistent creaking. There is chestnut wood baseboard throughout the house and beautiful wooden parquet flooring. The living room is graced with and crown molding ceiling design as well as an croqn molding that is approximately 18 inches down on all four walls. The floor to ceiling windows look out to their small covered porch that houses a small picnic table and a porch swing.

My space is in the back part of the living room. The wooden pocket french doors are pulled closed at all times and there are curtains at the other entrance that can be closed when I desire privacy—otherwise it is invited to be a common space. The living room also has a small fireplace topped with a mirror that houses several green houseplants.

The dining room contains a large table, able to seat 9-20 of us if necessary. It also has a fireplace and a large window to the outside as well as built in bookcases that house a variety of books including vegetarian cookbooks and children’s board books. 

The kitchen is at the back of the house and even though it is small, we all manage to fit in there after each dinner—one person washing dishes, 2 people drying, 1-2 people using the leftovers to make lunches for everyone who wants them for the next day, 1 person cleaning the stove, 1-2 people putting dishes away, 1 person taking care of the garbage, 1 person taking care of the compost, 1 person sweeping the kitchen, and all of us working around the 1-year old toddling around trying to help. The work is generally done within 10 minutes after dinner is finished and the kitchen is ready for the next day’s cooking activities. If you cook for breakfast or lunch, you’re responsible for washing your dishes and then placing them in the dishwasher (which is used as a drying rack) and then the dishes are put away when the after dinner work is being completed.

All meals are vegetarian with a legume and dairy free option (to meet the dietary needs of members of the community). If you cook, you plan your meals around what is available in the house although you can request specific things to be bought if you plan your meal ahead.

Two people with full-time jobs own cars to transport themselves to their jobs, two people who work full-time ride bicycles (which hang from the ceiling in the large hallway and are lowered via a pulley-system every morning). There is also one car for community use that has been on loan for over a year. 

The backyard is full of native plants, a beautiful vegetable garden that is watered from the rain water in the rain barrel. It also has a fire pit and yes, even a few rats that show up every now and them (“Mom, just think of them as squirrels with long, skinny tails” my daughter encourages me.) And that is really helpful advice.

There are guidelines for communication and conflict resolutions and statements of support for the neighborhood community. There are also a few “non-negotiables—no televisions in common spaces and no excessive alcohol/drug use to name a few.

It is a positive, happy space. One of the housemates who spends a lot of time trying to manage her own pain with a variety of strategies has reached out to me in such positive ways teaching me and allowing me to try some of these strategies myself for my knee pain.

Since my mobility is so limited, I do not climb up the beautiful wooden three storied staircase or down the flight of steps to the laundry room in the basement. Sarah gathers my laundry once a week to wash with her own and I visit the YMCA daily not only for water exercise to help with mobility and range of motion, but also to take my daily shower. It all works!!!

Quite honestly, to be given this gift of engaging with such a positive, caring community in a healthy way along with the opportunities to make new friends at the YMCA, I honestly feel like I am being given a huge gift. I feel honored to have my daughter to want me here and my very favorite moments are the ones I have been able to share with her.

What more could a mom ask for?